Obituaries

Sharon Harp
B: 1948-04-12
D: 2017-08-16
View Details
Harp, Sharon
Michael Mendenhall
B: 1947-04-24
D: 2017-08-14
View Details
Mendenhall, Michael
Dorothy Rork
B: 1922-03-11
D: 2017-08-14
View Details
Rork, Dorothy
Judy Landon
B: 1964-06-05
D: 2017-08-13
View Details
Landon, Judy
Bethel Holder
B: 1954-10-04
D: 2017-08-11
View Details
Holder, Bethel
Daniel Juarez
B: 2011-01-13
D: 2017-08-10
View Details
Juarez, Daniel
James Cone
B: 1954-10-01
D: 2017-08-09
View Details
Cone, James
Frank Ramsey
B: 1944-11-22
D: 2017-08-08
View Details
Ramsey, Frank
Robert Zamorano
B: 1943-06-24
D: 2017-08-08
View Details
Zamorano, Robert
Doran Waugh
B: 1924-07-04
D: 2017-08-05
View Details
Waugh, Doran
Imojean Marley
B: 1927-11-04
D: 2017-08-04
View Details
Marley, Imojean
Lorraine Cox
B: 1925-12-21
D: 2017-08-04
View Details
Cox, Lorraine
George Buche
B: 1927-03-30
D: 2017-08-03
View Details
Buche, George
Cynthia Ward Skaggs
B: 1958-11-05
D: 2017-08-01
View Details
Ward Skaggs, Cynthia
Bert White
B: 1930-11-27
D: 2017-08-01
View Details
White, Bert
Jay Browning
B: 1968-07-30
D: 2017-08-01
View Details
Browning, Jay
Ardellee Coons
B: 1926-09-16
D: 2017-08-01
View Details
Coons, Ardellee
Phillip Fisher
B: 1937-05-25
D: 2017-07-31
View Details
Fisher, Phillip
Doris Ahrens
B: 1935-03-22
D: 2017-07-31
View Details
Ahrens, Doris
Winton Crown
B: 1921-04-07
D: 2017-07-30
View Details
Crown, Winton
Diana Reel
B: 1958-12-04
D: 2017-07-30
View Details
Reel, Diana

Search

Use the form above to find your loved one. You can search using the name of your loved one, or any family name for current or past services entrusted to our firm.

Click here to view all obituaries
Search Obituaries

Ending Denial and Finding Acceptance

Acceptance is the very first task in your bereavement. Dr. James Worden writes that we must "come full face with the reality that the person is dead, that the person is gone and will not return."

This is where a funeral can be very important. Traditionally, the casketed body of the deceased is at the front of the room and guests are invited to step up to personally say their goodbyes. Part of stepping up means seeing with our own eyes that death has actually occurred and that actualizing is an essential part of coming to accept the death. Yet, the tradition of viewing has eroded over time with many families today choosing cremation and opting to hold a memorial service after the cremation has taken place. The focal point of the ceremony becomes the cremation urn, holding the cremated remains or ashes out-of-sight and making the reality of the death less evident and the road to acceptance less clearly marked.

Acceptance May Seem Out-of-Reach

For many, acceptance means agreeing to reality. Most of us, when we lose someone dear to us, simply don't want to agree to it; we actually have an aversion to agreeing and accepting. So, let's use a different word - try adjustment, or integration. Both words focus on the purposeful release of disbelief. Someone who has integrated the death of a loved one into their life has cleared the path to creating a new life; a pro-active life where a loved one's memory is held dear, perhaps as a motivating force for change.

It does take time. In Coping with the Loss of a Loved One, the American Cancer Society cautions readers that "acceptance does not happen overnight. It’s common for it to take a year or longer to resolve the emotional and life changes that come with the death of a loved one. The pain may become less intense, but it’s normal to feel emotionally involved with the deceased for many years after their death. In time, the person should be able to reclaim the emotional energy that was invested in the relationship with the deceased, and use it in other relationships." 

Whatever you call it, this essential part of mourning is what allows us to live fully again. It allows us to step out of the darkness of mere existence and back into the sunshine where life is sweet again. Of course, it's a very different life than the one you had before your loved one died.

Sources:
Worden, James, Grief Counseling & Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner, 4th Edition, 2009.

American Cancer Society, "Coping with the Loss of a Loved One", 2012